Guest article provided by: doablesimplicity.com
Last summer I found myself feeling down in a way I had never felt down before. I found myself crying in the middle of the day and curling up in bed.
Nothing like that had ever happened to me before and by all accounts my life was going well. We were all healthy and my husband had just gotten a raise.
I thought to myself; “Why am I feeling sad for no reason?”
In the last few months I can’t tell you how many of my friends have expressed that they feel the same way, or even worse. They are all feeling down, struggling with deep depression, or crippling anxiety.
Just to be clear, all of these women are beautiful, talented, smart, and strong. Still all of us were feeling down in a way that we had never before experienced.
Why Are We Feeling Down “For No Reason”?
Maybe you have been feeling the same way as me and my friends. Maybe you think that you are feeling sad for no reason and that you should just snap out of it. You just want to magically stop feeling down. That’s what I thought.
But, there are plenty of reasons that we feel down. We aren’t sad for no reason. We have the weight of the world on our shoulders and that world got a lot heavier during the Pandemic. Even now that it’s over everything seems more complicated than it was before.
Between news reports of Covid resurgences, natural disasters, social unrest, war, inflation and political strife we are loaded down with tons of information that is depressing.
Add to that financial worries, health problems, car problems and the loss of loved ones it’s no wonder we are feeling frazzled.
I’m not trying to bum you out. I’m trying to validate the way you feel. You are not feeling sad for no reason. You have every right to be sad right now.
Be Kind To Yourself When You Are Feeling Down
When you are feeling down for “no reason” you might feel like you shouldn’t be. You might tell yourself all the reasons that you are fine and that your life is better than a lot of peoples lives.
While that may be true, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t allowed to feel down sometimes.
This summer when I was feeling down I kept telling myself all those things. I am an a-type get-it-done kind of gal and I didn’t want to be less than 100 percent so I wasn’t going to feel that way. I was just going to snap out of it!
But guess what? That didn’t help. I had to just admit that this was a time when I wasn’t going to be 100% and I wasn’t going to get it done and I wasn’t going to be happy cause I said so. I had to let myself feel down. That was the first step.
You have permission to not be 100% sometimes. Don’t be ashamed of it and don’t force yourself to try to be your normal self.
Our lives come in seasons. Everyone says “there are ups and downs”. And they are right. Give yourself permission to feel the way your feeling right now.
It’s Okay to Ask for Help When You Are Feeling Down
Now I am not a psychiatrist or doctor of any kind. I am just a girl talking to her friends about something a lot of us are going through. I have always been of the mind that when you are open and you talk about something you will find a solution. Open communication always helps.
In fact, nothing got better until I told my husband and my mom how I was feeling. I also talked to some friends who had dealt with anxiety and depression before.
For some reason I didn’t want to tell anyone and I wasn’t the open person I normally am but when I finally started talking they gave me what I needed. They were there for me with practical suggestions, love, and support.
If you are feeling down and you don’t know why it is more than okay to talk to someone, it is necessary.
Start with telling those you love how you are feeling. You don’t have to have a valid reason for feeling the way you feel. Don’t try to explain it away. Just let them know where you are. They will give you love and support.
If you need more support don’t hesitate to seek it in the form of a therapist or a doctor. Sometimes we are feeling down because of imbalances that our bodies want us to know about, and sometimes we need more than a hearing ear.
Take Time for Your Self Care When You Are Feeling Down
Another thing that can help you when your feeling down is giving yourself permission to take time for yourself. You don’t have to be the ultra-productive supermom or power woman you have been right now. You can take time for yourself and take time for rest, self-care, reflection, medical assistance, or whatever else you think you might need.
This summer, when I was feeling down, I became very intentional about making time for self-care activities including sitting in the hot-tub, taking a nap, doing creative things, and being active in a way that felt good to me.
Self-care is a buzz word right now but it’s not a fad. It’s all about taking the time you need to give yourself what you are lacking so that you don’t burn out.
Don’t feel bad about taking time for yourself and doing self-care that will help you thrive. This is your health we are talking about. It’s one of the most valuable assets you can have so take care of it!
It’s Okay to Say No
Sometimes, in order to take time for yourself, you are going to have to say no. It’s okay. We are used to saying yes and we want to be polite but it’s not wrong to create boundaries.
You can politely decline invitations to events, pleas for help, and unnecessary commitments by explaining that you don’t have the time or capacity to give those things the attention they deserve. This shows that you value the person or event but you just can’t do it right now.
It’s important to say no because you have to take care of yourself if you are going to continue helping others, as I am sure you want to. It’s not selfish or mean to prioritize your priorities over those others want you to have. It’s necessary to do this because you can’t do it all. No one can.
Just Because You Are Feeling Down Now Doesn’t Mean You Always Will
This post isn’t full of medical advice because I’m not a doctor. It’s not full of statistics because you already know that a lot of people are feeling down right now.
The reason I wanted to write this post is to show solidarity to all my girlfriends who are having a hard time right now.
I want to validate your feelings which are by no means unfounded or “crazy”. You are not feeling sad for “no reason”. You can feel this way for awhile and I want you to know I am here for you.
The good news is, just because you are feeling down right now doesn’t mean you always will be sad, anxious, and frustrated.
With the help of time, self-care, support from my family, and some supplements I was able to pull out of the way I was feeling last summer. I now have mostly good days and weeks and months. A lot of my friends are doing better too.
I believe that the sun will shine again for you too! You can feel like yourself again. Just get whatever kind of support you need and take time for yourself. Give yourself permission to be feeling down and give yourself time. Have a happy simple life one day at a time.
Jessalynn Jones writes her Blog